Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
