Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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