Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize