like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
