I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
