you guys were way drunker than both of me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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