oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
