Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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