As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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