Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
