If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
