Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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