grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
