so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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