If that was your dad, he is hot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
