I wanna passion pit in your ass
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
