This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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