dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize