Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize