please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
