singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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