Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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