the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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