just come out here and I will go home with you...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Couch. On fire.
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