Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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