So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
