will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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