ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
