I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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