She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
