This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
