just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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