Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Umm I'm too high to move.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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