is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
