She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
