Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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