Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
