and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize