Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
