Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
