So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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