We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Actions speak louder than pants.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
