Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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