I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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