RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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