I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
