What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
