You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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