girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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