The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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