"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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