I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
