Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
