Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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