I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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