Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
