She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
