I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
